Entry #1- I know who I am and what I want to do with my life.

It’s been over a year since I stopped coaching BVWO.  I created this group from my own needs to learn about cycling in a comfortable, friendly, and fun environment.  I admit that in the beginning, I was teaching as fast as I could learn the skills myself.  And with time, my confidence, knowledge, and love of the sport carried me to where I ended up with all of you.   It was not an easy decision to come to; I fought for what I believed this group should be and should be provided with as long as I could. But you can’t fight a losing battle forever.  I feel a very deep void created by the situation.  So often, I have thought of you this past year.  I miss seeing you grow in your bike skills as well as your confidence and beauty as athletes, women, and professionals.  I understand now more than ever what this group meant to me and what we gave to each other.  

One thing that this past year has taught me is that shaken confidence in my abilities is hard to regain after a stressful, traumatic, and nerve-racking experience in management.  I felt that this was the next step in my career: taking on more responsibilities, getting that big pay check, having a well defined title.  I admit that this experience was one of the most difficult career situations that I’ve ever had.  More importantly, I’ve re-learned who I am and what is important to me.  It’s still a work in process getting me back to where I am strong, confident, and motivated to be the part of my current team that I know I can be.  I know that it’s not the long term answer but it’s a good fit for me now.  

I am in the process of getting back onto the coaching/teaching/training career path.  I’ve been studying to earn my ACE Personal Trainer Certification.  I plan to take the test at the end of July.  Keep your fingers crossed for me.  I’ve got additional plans to apply to a physical therapy assistant program too.  This morning I signed up for one of two or three prerequisite classes I need to take first.  Things are slowing bringing this dream into my reality.  I feel this is where I can have a purpose, fill a need, and be myself.  

Accepting the fact that it took me several years of searching and tasting different jobs to find myself as a blend of coach, teacher, and trainer, brings me to a new chapter and a new adventure. 

“There is a vitality, a lift-force, an energy, a quickening that is translated through you into action and because there is only one of you in all of time, this expression is unique.  And if you block it, it will never exist though any other medium and be lost.”  Martha Graham